If "half a billion views on YouTube" is any criteria to go by, there's really only one candidate for a modern Christmas standard, and by "modern" I mean "recorded after Bing Crosby's lifetime." With all apologies to Run-D.M.C., Low, Cristina, and the in-house musicians of Studio One, we're going to have to go with Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You," co-written and co-produced with Walter Afanasieff for Carey's matter-of-factly-titled 1994 album Merry Christmas. (Same initials, word to Jarvis Cocker.) Carey's song hit for a billion or so reasons, not the least of which was (i) her post-Music Box megasuccess, (ii) the generational-crossover '90s R&B-via-'60s-pop arrangement, and (iii) what Kurt Vonnegut coined as "oodles of charm."